Plum in the bum with a little bit of rum. That’s how you start the weekend! I wonder what would happen if I ordered that at a bar. “Yeah I’ll take the plum in the bum with a dash of rum, please.” “Um, I’m not sure what that is…” “…” “…” “I want you to … Continue reading NBA Playoffs and Eating Your House →

Holy slithering snakes in my slimy salami slicer, it’s Monday! We’ve got a nice little thunderstorm rolling through here in Austin, so that’s cool and stuff. The weather here is interesting. It won’t rain for a month and then one day it will just rain so ridiculously hard that you have to pee at least … Continue reading Learning How to be Wrong and Giant Dongs →

I got a juicer. Now I’m drinking celery juice. I’m so healthy. Everyone look at me. Look how healthy I am. This is the exciting update everyone was hoping for. You thought I was going to talk about comedy, but no. I’m dedicating a thousand words to my newly purchased masticating juicer. This is art, … Continue reading Hot Women and Comedy →