Well. This journey is coming to a close, as I sit here in my hotel room in the middle of Texas with an Otis Spunkmeyer muffin by my side. What a name. Otis Spunkmeyer. I haven't written any posts in about a week or so, and that's just fine and dandy. I love sharing my … Continue reading Denver/Albuquerque/Austin
The following post contains a poem and pictures. Today's post is brought to you by Latex Chex Mix. If you're tired of the crunch but still love the taste of Worcestershire sauce, Latex Chex Mix has you covered, with a rubbery new concoction of glorious snack mix you're sure to enjoy! Some days you just … Continue reading Arches (Post 2)
Moab. Snow crab. Low jab. Not only is Moab fun to say, but it’s quite beautiful. Mmm yes quite. Indubitably. Fantastic. Tremendous. Rich. Absolutely rich. Good, clean fun for the whole family. What am I even saying? Whose couch is this? Ah, yes. Moab. I had the best time in Moab, it was definitely one … Continue reading Arches (Post 1)
I’m currently in the middle of butt truck nowhere, Utah. And yes, that definitely is an official city. It’s just southeast of Ass Cavity and a bit to the north of Piss Creek. Great spot, I highly recommend it. I guess I’m technically in Joseph, Utah. I stopped over for the night at Wildland Gardens, … Continue reading Zion to Joseph to Moab
I’m sitting here at Oscar’s café at the base of Zion National Park. Life seems to be highlighting the fact that I’m alone. Apparently I booked my hotel room with two queen beds instead of one. “Please confirm here that it’s just two people staying in your room,” said the hotel clerk. “It’s just gonna … Continue reading Lees Ferry to Zion
Horseshoe Bend and Lake Powell (Above) I'm sitting here, on what feels like the crest of the desert. It seems as if you can see as far as the earth begins to curve. The jets leave patterns in the sky over layers upon layers of rock. It looks like God took a knife and had … Continue reading Lake Powell, Arizona
She's got a short skirt and a loooooooooong beach. No? That's not how the song goes? Darn. Thought I had that one. What a neat place Long Beach is. Neat I tell you. Neat. I drove down from Ventura on Saturday morning to stay with my friend Jordan for the weekend in the Beach of … Continue reading Long Beach
Today's blog post is sponsored by Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers. Unlike anything you've ever tasted in your silly little life, Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers will slap your tongue with a blistering combination of quality beef and barrel aged ingredients, including triple distilled pickles, sun soaked buns, and our famous anus tomatoes! Still hungry? … Continue reading Ventura/Chumash/Pt. Mugu
Today’s blog post is sponsored by Chicano Tenders – chicken tenders with a Mexican twist! So nice to have sponsors for the podcasts. I’m filled with gratitude. And eggs. I just ate a lot of eggs. I’m filled with eggs. I have the sperm and eggs inside of me. So, where am I? Who am … Continue reading Morro Bay to Ventura
Today's blog post is sponsored by Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions. Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions is your one shop stop for all of your pelvis extension needs. Whether it's a mini extension or you'd like to shoot your pelvis right off your body and straight to the moon, IEPE has you covered. What did I do … Continue reading Morro Bay/Cambria
