Well by the taint of Saint James, ain’t life a trip? I want to take a nap right now, but I forgot I made tea. So now I have to drink the tea. What a couple of horrifying options. My life is so hard and difficult. Speaking of hard and difficult, how about that open … Continue reading Good Habits and Bad Open Mics
Tag: stand up
Comedy and Setting Boundaries
Well put me in a crock pot and stew me up for dinner! By golly, what a tasty day to be alive. It’s another gorgeous day in Austin and I am ready to EAT. I don’t even know what that means. I’m hungry. That’s my point. Hungry for success snarf snarf snarf. No. I’m just … Continue reading Comedy and Setting Boundaries
Sponge Monkeys
Sponge monkeys. What if you were washing dishes with a sponge and all of a sudden a tiny monkey oozed out of the sponge and onto your dinner plate? What would you do? How would you feel? Would you sell the monkey? Would you take care of the monkey while it grows? Would you adopt … Continue reading Sponge Monkeys
Getting on Kill Tony
Merry Dickmas! I mean Christmas. Dick Butkus. I don’t know. It’s been a crazy year. Last post I talked about getting kicked out of a comedy club, which was really weird when it happened but actually turned out to be good timing. I’ve been trying to get on the live podcast “Kill Tony” ever since … Continue reading Getting on Kill Tony
What it Feels Like to Bomb on Stage
Who knew three minutes of talking could be exhausting? When people find out you do comedy, they usually ask one of two questions. The most popular is: can you tell me a joke? If you’ve ever asked this question, I forgive you; but know that I’ve spent at least a minute of my life hating … Continue reading What it Feels Like to Bomb on Stage
Turning Obstacles into Opportunities
I need to get bug spray. Both of my ankles are surrounded by 360 degrees of bug bites. I’m taking it as a compliment. I’ve got some sexy ankles. Everyone wants a piece. Come get some, bitches. Boy, life is good right now. I’ve been finding my groove out here in all sorts of different … Continue reading Turning Obstacles into Opportunities
My Tragic Love Story
Weeeeeeeeeeeee. I had the most amazing set last night. It wasn’t all roses before that, though. It was actually no roses. The day was pretty awful before that. What do they say, though? It’s always darkest before the dawn? I guess I have to share my tragic love story for some background. Before the pandemic … Continue reading My Tragic Love Story
Existential Questions About Pizza and Dying for a Day
I wonder if you could make a pizza out of a tree… No, that’s dumb. That’s a dumb thought. I mean I’m sure you could make a “pizza” out of a tree, but would it actually be a pizza? What defines pizza? Does a pizza have to have cheese? Because if a pizza has to … Continue reading Existential Questions About Pizza and Dying for a Day
Cocaine? And Comedy!
COCAINE! I remember I ended my last post talking about cocaine or I was going to talk about cocaine, but then I had to go so I thought I would start my next post talking about cocaine even though I really have nothing to say about cocaine because I've never done cocaine. I feel like … Continue reading Cocaine? And Comedy!