A boy needed a ride home today so he ordered me on his phone you're supposed to be an adult to ride but it's hard to look at a kid and say no I can't take you where you need to go today so he stumbled in told me he just got a haircut and … Continue reading Ride # 874
Tater tots. Tot tot tot de tot. One time I made an entire podcast episode about potatoes... I think I talked for an hour about potatoes, rank-ordering them from least favorite to favorite. Tater tots weren't high on the list. I would always eat tater tots if somebody was like "hey, have some tater tots," … Continue reading Tater Tots, the Cost of Expression, Rationality and Emotion, and Selling Yourself for Money.
I've got a box of interracial peanuts I bought them at the corner store where they sell left-behind laundry and individual grains of sand my cousin works there he was born with no legs and a craisin for a heart he tells me the owner is a candy man and sticks toffee in his nostrils … Continue reading Poem: The Corner Store
I got really drunk yesterday said hey bet you I could sneak onto that guy's boat without him noticing okay I moved the water with my hands slowly drifting away from my people nobody noticed me leaving Almost at the boat I got a wave from my uncle my heart began beating often this will … Continue reading July on the Lake
I woke up at three in the morning the other night with a pen still in my hand and my face on my notebook, which read: I've got a penis in my pants it's mine it's my penis in my pants It makes sense that I fell asleep in the middle of writing that … Continue reading Making Connections Online and Writing About My Penis and a Potato World
I could really go for a minty biscuit perhaps a cup of sour clam chowder a slice of sticky lint bread sir would you pour me a glass of rock-hard cashews and while you're at it I'll take an order of the corned chocolate my wife is thinking about the house-made crab packets but I … Continue reading An Awfully Fancy Dinner
Somebody is blowing bubbles in my cranium I can feel them pop on the outskirts of my skull each one louder the more I think upon it I wait for them to fly out my eyes fall through my nostrils or glob together and flow out my ears like soapy water after a weird bath. … Continue reading Morning Bubbles
So I went to the beach yesterday; and I said I was going to think about deep stuff, but I kind of just ended up writing poetry about rocks... Not gonna lie, one of the most enjoyable days I've had in a long time. If you haven't written poetry about rocks, I suggest you write … Continue reading Rocks, Good and Evil, and Redemption.
There's something to admire in a raging douchebag the condescending confidence only to be pulled off by a select few how they look at you as if to say I'm a total douche and there's nothing you can do.
What a great day to be alive. Today, Monday February 25th, and today only, here on planet earth, you can get your copy of Not Your Average Sonnet for just $5.97 on Amazon. That's right, for the price of a venti caramel macchiato, you can have endless entertainment on your hands, without the crash! Boy it sure is a … Continue reading HOLY NUT MUNCHERS, IT’S A FLASH SALE!