Well, shit… here we are. Four months in Austin. What a wacky and wild ride so far. I don’t know what I expected to happen when I came here. I don’t know if I expected anything at all to be honest. I just knew I wanted to come here. I’ve known I want to be … Continue reading Finding the Blog’s Identity
Tag: Humor
Performance Through Trial and Error
Holy smoked salami is it a beautiful day today. The weather in Austin is very interesting. It’s super nice one minute and then pouring penis the next. The weather app will say it’s going to be 79 degrees and then it turns out to be 100. It’s kind of fun. I always get a chuckle … Continue reading Performance Through Trial and Error
Mango Smoothie
Holy Mexican Moses with a monkey for a mouth I need to clean my computer. Disgusting. How do I live with myself? I don't know if it's a male thing or I'm just a bit of slob but sometimes things have to get obscenely dirty for me to even notice. I ordered a mango smoothie … Continue reading Mango Smoothie
Lees Ferry to Zion
I’m sitting here at Oscar’s café at the base of Zion National Park. Life seems to be highlighting the fact that I’m alone. Apparently I booked my hotel room with two queen beds instead of one. “Please confirm here that it’s just two people staying in your room,” said the hotel clerk. “It’s just gonna … Continue reading Lees Ferry to Zion
Long Beach
She's got a short skirt and a loooooooooong beach. No? That's not how the song goes? Darn. Thought I had that one. What a neat place Long Beach is. Neat I tell you. Neat. I drove down from Ventura on Saturday morning to stay with my friend Jordan for the weekend in the Beach of … Continue reading Long Beach
Ventura/Chumash/Pt. Mugu
Today's blog post is sponsored by Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers. Unlike anything you've ever tasted in your silly little life, Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers will slap your tongue with a blistering combination of quality beef and barrel aged ingredients, including triple distilled pickles, sun soaked buns, and our famous anus tomatoes! Still hungry? … Continue reading Ventura/Chumash/Pt. Mugu
Hibernating Demon Bursts Out of Texas Pipe, Killing Five — The Mad Satirist
As Texas residents continue to scramble for warmth and water amidst an unprecedented winter storm, a new and perhaps more frightening danger looms over the state. 243 more wordsHibernating Demon Bursts Out of Texas Pipe, Killing Five — The Mad Satirist
Morro Bay/Cambria
Today's blog post is sponsored by Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions. Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions is your one shop stop for all of your pelvis extension needs. Whether it's a mini extension or you'd like to shoot your pelvis right off your body and straight to the moon, IEPE has you covered. What did I do … Continue reading Morro Bay/Cambria
San Luis Obispo/ Montaña de Oro State Park
Happy International Day of Smacking Ass! No? That's not a thing? Well, that's a shame. Shame on you! I think, out of all the phrases in the english language, (and there are a lot) that may be my least favorite. It's like spell that a step-mother who's not cool enough to be a witch tries … Continue reading San Luis Obispo/ Montaña de Oro State Park
Sri Lanka and Secondhand Diabetes
Sri Lanka. I just realized I started my last two blog posts with “Shaba laba ding dong,” and “Shaba daba ding dong” respectively. So, today I decided to go with something a little different. Sri Lanka. We are going with Sri Lanka. What about Sri Lanka, you ask? I have no idea. I couldn’t tell … Continue reading Sri Lanka and Secondhand Diabetes