Man Commits Suicide on Toilet after Phone Dies — The Mad Satirist

A Florida man has ended his own life after his iPhone ran out of battery during a routine poo in his Tallahassee home. Unable to bear his own thoughts for more than fifteen seconds, the Leon County resident went into immediate panic after the screen went dark. “I heard him scream from the other side…Man Commits … Continue reading Man Commits Suicide on Toilet after Phone Dies — The Mad Satirist

Entire Generation Fired for Transphobic Comments — The Mad Satirist

Everyone born before 1971 has been fired from their job for transphobic comments made in the past, after the New New York Times published an exposé released by some guy with nothing better to do. “This is a day to remember in history,” said the shman, who declined to be identified by name, demanding only…Entire Generation … Continue reading Entire Generation Fired for Transphobic Comments — The Mad Satirist

Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Narcissists! Oh Joy!

People are crazy. People are lazy. One person is Patrick Swayze. Wow. Great. Tremendous. What am I doing? Why am I here? Oh, yes. I was going to write about sociopaths, narcissists, and psychopaths and how our society is built to reward them. Let’s start with the good old-fashioned sociopath. If you don’t know what … Continue reading Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Narcissists! Oh Joy!