“Somehin ain’t right here, partner” I said… to myself. I’ve been talking in a Southern accent lately because it’s funny and I grew a mustache. Or maybe it’s the mustache that’s the funny part. There’s another possibility, which is that none of it is funny and I’m simply hurting for a way to pass the … Continue reading Jungle Stories: Emergency on Election Weekend
A tree fell to start the day. That’s the easiest way to die out here. You could die a lot of ways out here but apparently that’s the most common. You can die a lot ways anywhere, really. I doubt it’s any safer in the city given all the cars and people. I doubt you … Continue reading Day 1 in the Jungle
Party bus in Medellin: I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to have this much fun on a party bus. In the process of learning how to let go, it’s becoming easier to enjoy myself in environments which wouldn’t typically suit me. Would I rather have an intimate dinner and share conversation and laughs? Yes. But that … Continue reading Stories from Medellin, Colombia
I’d like to take a moment to recognize the late great Billy Mays, who will always be mighty and leave my heart like putty. Okay that’s a lie, I’m not here to honor Billy Mays. However, I would like to honor the great moments and people I’ve met on this trip. I’ve made so many … Continue reading Cartagena and Rosario Islands
I’ve bought a notebook that claims a 100% satisfaction guarantee or my money back. So, I’ve decided to fill every page with blurry words and return it. “The lines were disorienting,” I’ll say. If anyone asks, that is. I don’t know if they have a ‘no questions asked’ policy on the notebook. Either way, I’m … Continue reading The Notebook
I’m curious to know if the dog wonders where I’ve been. Bereft of a proper understanding, he’s left without explanation. We shared every day together, only for it to swing swiftly to the other end. There’s no weening off the drug of love. You have it, and it’s gone. I miss a lot of people, … Continue reading Does the Dog Wonder Where I’ve Been?
I’ve got headphones on but no music is playing. I don’t know why I put them on to begin with. I suppose out of habit. When the writing begins, the headphones often follow and soothing piano soon drowns out the sounds of my surroundings. I don’t have anything against the sounds. I quite like them, … Continue reading Confidence, Comedy, and Women
He's big he's black and he's got an ass full of crap big shits are business and he gon' sell you allllll of that poopin' on your lawn and shootin' up your John better find a new place to doo doo cause the loo is long gone gave a new meaning to blowing up the … Continue reading Mr. Poopius Brown
Well shiver me Timberlakes, you’re Justin time. You’re gonna want to take a seat there captain, because I’m about to tell you the tale of the Great Stanislaus Gross. (Pronounced like it rhymes with moss, even though the dude was absolutely disgusting on the court.) Some people say the meaning of life is love, others … Continue reading The Story of Stanislaus Gross (Ch. 1)
Good golly Gertrude, you’ve really gucked up your glasses this time, haven’t you? FLOOP MCSHLOOB. It’s taking every ounce of me not to go full turrets right now and I am genuinely sorry to whatever God you believe in because this post could fly off the rails at any moment. Good Monday my ass, this … Continue reading This is Super Serious
