I watched a young man walk...
Mexican rectal exam. Ooh that was a good one. Much better than “shaba laba ding dong” or “Sri Lanka.” We are starting off on the right food today, I tell you what! A Mexican rectal exam is the catalyst for a great day. I kind of hope someone quotes me on that in twenty years. … Continue reading Mexican Rectal Exams and Tinder
Sri Lanka. I just realized I started my last two blog posts with “Shaba laba ding dong,” and “Shaba daba ding dong” respectively. So, today I decided to go with something a little different. Sri Lanka. We are going with Sri Lanka. What about Sri Lanka, you ask? I have no idea. I couldn’t tell … Continue reading Sri Lanka and Secondhand Diabetes
Shaba laba ding dong. Boing. Blimp. Fun socket. This is me trying to write. I’ve been keeping to my word of writing two hours a day and it’s been quite nice. Sometimes it takes a little bit to get going and I just have to write down random words and noises for ten minutes, but … Continue reading Writing and Smoking Weed aka “the Doob”
I wonder what the nature of reality is and if potatoes have anything to do with it. Could you imagine? If potatoes were the center of the universe… I have a problem. I’m really obsessed with the word “potato.” I just can’t quit it. It owns me. It inhabits my soul. I’m sick from starch. … Continue reading Journal Entry? Blog Post? Nobody Knows.
Creamed cornsicles. Oof, that would be absolutely disgusting. It’s crazy how if you change a word or a phrase just a tiny bit, it can really go off the rails. I mean creamed corn… delicious. Creamed cornsicles… vomit inducing, at minimum. It sounds so disgusting I honestly want to die just thinking about it. It’s … Continue reading Performing Comedy in a Pandemic
Well smoke my cheddar and call me cheese! That would be a fun experiment... Not to smoke my cheddar and call me cheese, but to say that to one hundred different people and take note of how each one of them interprets it. Maybe I'll do that some day. I could just walk around the … Continue reading I’m Watching People Become Robots, and It’s Scary
Boy oh boy oh boy. What is life? How did I get here? Whose car is that? Is that your car? That's a nice car. I don't know what I'm saying. Or typing. Whatever. I don't know anything right now. I'm having one of those days where my brain feels like it's trying to escape … Continue reading Do We Have Too Many Choices?
Mango On realsimple.com, the first thing listed in the “What You Need” section is a “Y-shaped peeler.” Personally, if I see anything other than “knife,” I’m already settling for a banana. A Y-shaped peeler? More like Y am I doing this to myself? Below the “What You Need” section is a “Follow These Steps” segment, … Continue reading 10 Fruits or Vegetables You Don’t Know How to Cut