Well send me to the NFL and tackle me until I have brain damage, it’s another beautiful day to be alive! I kind of felt like I had brain damage after October was over, sweet mother of a Mexican mermaid what a crazy month… I’m not gonna lie, I was definitely dealing with some burnout. … Continue reading Doing My Best and Comedy Comradery
Tag: Funny
Finding the Fool
Well stick a bag of trail mix in my eyes and call me blind, what a pleasant day to be questioning your sexuality. Just kidding, I’m past that. You ever struggle so much with women you wonder if you’re gay? No? Just me. Okay. I wrote a joke about that once upon a time; the … Continue reading Finding the Fool
Nothing But Nonsense
Hi my name is Slippytit McDoubledoo and it’s a pleasure to finally be at your acquaintance. Let’s lotion up that taint and make this place quiet and quaint so we can make acquaintance. Make acquaintance. That’s a funny phrase. Imagine if you walked up to a woman at the bar and said “I’d like to … Continue reading Nothing But Nonsense
The Fish and the Rainbow
So here me out here. You’ve got a fish, and you’ve got a rainbow. The problem is, the rainbow looks like a fish and the fish looks like a rainbow. So, what you’re seeing is a giant fish in the sky, and then a rainbow swimming. And nobody knows why this is happening. Everything was … Continue reading The Fish and the Rainbow
Comedy, Insecurities, Jokes and Life
Well tickle my tits and pickle my cucumber, it’s a great day to have all the genitalia imaginable. Slap a cactus on me baby, I’M FEELING SHARP. Spit in my Sierra Mist and call me foggy you naughty little bottle of cough syrup, you. I legitimately have no idea what I’m typing right now. This … Continue reading Comedy, Insecurities, Jokes and Life
Kim Kardashian and Following Your Destiny
Well slide a finger in me and call me a Chinese trap, it’s great to have you here. And hey, it’s great to be here. Finger in me or not, I’m just grateful to be alive and well. I got in a gnarly car accident and then got a brutal case of COVID two days … Continue reading Kim Kardashian and Following Your Destiny
Vegan Vegetables and Beating Someone With a Pineapple
Well dump a shot of rum in my bum and call me Boof Bonser, happy Monday to ya! That’s actually a real name by the way. There was a professional baseball player named Boof Bonser and he was a part of one of the worst trades in San Francisco Giants history when he was included … Continue reading Vegan Vegetables and Beating Someone With a Pineapple
A Short Story That Will Probably Get Me Cancelled in Ten Years
Once upon a time there was a beautiful butterfly named Benghazi. Benghazi was black. Benghazi was a black butterfly. Benghazi was so black that it could camouflage itself against the night sky and showed up late everywhere. But Benghazi was so beautiful. Oh, the most beautiful. A man named Steve Stonk once said Benghazi was … Continue reading A Short Story That Will Probably Get Me Cancelled in Ten Years
NBA Playoffs and Eating Your House
Plum in the bum with a little bit of rum. That’s how you start the weekend! I wonder what would happen if I ordered that at a bar. “Yeah I’ll take the plum in the bum with a dash of rum, please.” “Um, I’m not sure what that is…” “…” “…” “I want you to … Continue reading NBA Playoffs and Eating Your House
Learning How to be Wrong and Giant Dongs
Holy slithering snakes in my slimy salami slicer, it’s Monday! We’ve got a nice little thunderstorm rolling through here in Austin, so that’s cool and stuff. The weather here is interesting. It won’t rain for a month and then one day it will just rain so ridiculously hard that you have to pee at least … Continue reading Learning How to be Wrong and Giant Dongs