Well send me to the NFL and tackle me until I have brain damage, it’s another beautiful day to be alive! I kind of felt like I had brain damage after October was over, sweet mother of a Mexican mermaid what a crazy month… I’m not gonna lie, I was definitely dealing with some burnout. … Continue reading Doing My Best and Comedy Comradery
Tag: comedy
Finding the Fool
Well stick a bag of trail mix in my eyes and call me blind, what a pleasant day to be questioning your sexuality. Just kidding, I’m past that. You ever struggle so much with women you wonder if you’re gay? No? Just me. Okay. I wrote a joke about that once upon a time; the … Continue reading Finding the Fool
Nothing But Nonsense
Hi my name is Slippytit McDoubledoo and it’s a pleasure to finally be at your acquaintance. Let’s lotion up that taint and make this place quiet and quaint so we can make acquaintance. Make acquaintance. That’s a funny phrase. Imagine if you walked up to a woman at the bar and said “I’d like to … Continue reading Nothing But Nonsense
Comedy, Insecurities, Jokes and Life
Well tickle my tits and pickle my cucumber, it’s a great day to have all the genitalia imaginable. Slap a cactus on me baby, I’M FEELING SHARP. Spit in my Sierra Mist and call me foggy you naughty little bottle of cough syrup, you. I legitimately have no idea what I’m typing right now. This … Continue reading Comedy, Insecurities, Jokes and Life
Kim Kardashian and Following Your Destiny
Well slide a finger in me and call me a Chinese trap, it’s great to have you here. And hey, it’s great to be here. Finger in me or not, I’m just grateful to be alive and well. I got in a gnarly car accident and then got a brutal case of COVID two days … Continue reading Kim Kardashian and Following Your Destiny
Vegan Vegetables and Beating Someone With a Pineapple
Well dump a shot of rum in my bum and call me Boof Bonser, happy Monday to ya! That’s actually a real name by the way. There was a professional baseball player named Boof Bonser and he was a part of one of the worst trades in San Francisco Giants history when he was included … Continue reading Vegan Vegetables and Beating Someone With a Pineapple
Accidents, Illness, and More! Hooray!
Well suck my thumb and call me a pacifist, what a peaceful time to piss into the darkness. I hope they put that on my tombstone. I did almost die last weekend, so that’s pretty neat. I got T-boned by a Ford F-150 going 40 mph, sending my Subaru spinning into what I thought might … Continue reading Accidents, Illness, and More! Hooray!
Writing and Comedy
Well slam me into a can of jam and call me spread, because I am open for business baby! Snap a cracker off and dip into my hummus. I don’t know what I’m saying. This is how I write. I think it would be fun to make everyone in the world do a stream-of-consciousness writing … Continue reading Writing and Comedy
A Short Story That Will Probably Get Me Cancelled in Ten Years
Once upon a time there was a beautiful butterfly named Benghazi. Benghazi was black. Benghazi was a black butterfly. Benghazi was so black that it could camouflage itself against the night sky and showed up late everywhere. But Benghazi was so beautiful. Oh, the most beautiful. A man named Steve Stonk once said Benghazi was … Continue reading A Short Story That Will Probably Get Me Cancelled in Ten Years
NBA Playoffs and Eating Your House
Plum in the bum with a little bit of rum. That’s how you start the weekend! I wonder what would happen if I ordered that at a bar. “Yeah I’ll take the plum in the bum with a dash of rum, please.” “Um, I’m not sure what that is…” “…” “…” “I want you to … Continue reading NBA Playoffs and Eating Your House