Horseshoe Bend and Lake Powell (Above) I'm sitting here, on what feels like the crest of the desert. It seems as if you can see as far as the earth begins to curve. The jets leave patterns in the sky over layers upon layers of rock. It looks like God took a knife and had … Continue reading Lake Powell, Arizona
She's got a short skirt and a loooooooooong beach. No? That's not how the song goes? Darn. Thought I had that one. What a neat place Long Beach is. Neat I tell you. Neat. I drove down from Ventura on Saturday morning to stay with my friend Jordan for the weekend in the Beach of … Continue reading Long Beach
Today's blog post is sponsored by Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers. Unlike anything you've ever tasted in your silly little life, Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers will slap your tongue with a blistering combination of quality beef and barrel aged ingredients, including triple distilled pickles, sun soaked buns, and our famous anus tomatoes! Still hungry? … Continue reading Ventura/Chumash/Pt. Mugu
Today’s blog post is sponsored by Chicano Tenders – chicken tenders with a Mexican twist! So nice to have sponsors for the podcasts. I’m filled with gratitude. And eggs. I just ate a lot of eggs. I’m filled with eggs. I have the sperm and eggs inside of me. So, where am I? Who am … Continue reading Morro Bay to Ventura
As Texas residents continue to scramble for warmth and water amidst an unprecedented winter storm, a new and perhaps more frightening danger looms over the state. 243 more wordsHibernating Demon Bursts Out of Texas Pipe, Killing Five — The Mad Satirist
Today's blog post is sponsored by Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions. Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions is your one shop stop for all of your pelvis extension needs. Whether it's a mini extension or you'd like to shoot your pelvis right off your body and straight to the moon, IEPE has you covered. What did I do … Continue reading Morro Bay/Cambria
Happy International Day of Smacking Ass! No? That's not a thing? Well, that's a shame. Shame on you! I think, out of all the phrases in the english language, (and there are a lot) that may be my least favorite. It's like spell that a step-mother who's not cool enough to be a witch tries … Continue reading San Luis Obispo/ Montaña de Oro State Park
Oily toilet paper. Gross. Thank god that’s not a thing. Hi, hello. Good to be here. Happy day to you. I feel great today. Hope you’re doing well. Tell the kids I say hi. Wife okay? How’ve your parents been? Most of the time when I start writing I just begin by dumping out nonsensical … Continue reading Santa Cruz to Monterey to Morro Bay
Shooby doo da we're really off and running now, folks! I think I want that to be my preferred pronoun. Folk. I am not a he. I am not a she. I am a folk. Thank you. I don't think I've ever heard anyone be referred to as a folk, singular. You only ever hear … Continue reading Sacramento to Santa Cruz
Aaaaaand I’m off! My adventure to Austin, Texas has begun and I’m so excited I’m gonna cum! I I’m kidding, I won’t do that. At least not right now. I’m at a public restaurant, that would be very poor judgement and shockingly weak impulse control. I know there are many people reading this (probably friends … Continue reading The Start of a Journey: Windsor to Sacramento
