Mexican rectal exam. Ooh that was a good one. Much better than “shaba laba ding dong” or “Sri Lanka.” We are starting off on the right food today, I tell you what! A Mexican rectal exam is the catalyst for a great day. I kind of hope someone quotes me on that in twenty years. … Continue reading Mexican Rectal Exams and Tinder
Sri Lanka. I just realized I started my last two blog posts with “Shaba laba ding dong,” and “Shaba daba ding dong” respectively. So, today I decided to go with something a little different. Sri Lanka. We are going with Sri Lanka. What about Sri Lanka, you ask? I have no idea. I couldn’t tell … Continue reading Sri Lanka and Secondhand Diabetes
It was already a heartbreak drive...
Shaba daba ding dong. Interesting. The only word which was supposedly spelled wrong in that beautiful prelude was “daba.” I don’t know what a shaba is, but I want one. Oh, I was wrong. It says shaba is spelled wrong now. Must have just been because it was capitalized as the first word of the … Continue reading Shaba daba ding dong and Some Thoughts on Writing
Shaba laba ding dong. Boing. Blimp. Fun socket. This is me trying to write. I’ve been keeping to my word of writing two hours a day and it’s been quite nice. Sometimes it takes a little bit to get going and I just have to write down random words and noises for ten minutes, but … Continue reading Writing and Smoking Weed aka “the Doob”
And the President of the United States is… a potato! Oh, it’s still undecided? Darn. I wish it was a potato. A potato would probably be a pretty good President, to be honest. At least it’s useful. It’s kind of unfortunate timing that 2020 is an election year. I guess it’s all kind of unfortunate … Continue reading Thoughts on the Election
She's hot and in a hurry...
I wonder what the nature of reality is and if potatoes have anything to do with it. Could you imagine? If potatoes were the center of the universe… I have a problem. I’m really obsessed with the word “potato.” I just can’t quit it. It owns me. It inhabits my soul. I’m sick from starch. … Continue reading Journal Entry? Blog Post? Nobody Knows.
Creamed cornsicles. Oof, that would be absolutely disgusting. It’s crazy how if you change a word or a phrase just a tiny bit, it can really go off the rails. I mean creamed corn… delicious. Creamed cornsicles… vomit inducing, at minimum. It sounds so disgusting I honestly want to die just thinking about it. It’s … Continue reading Performing Comedy in a Pandemic
I wonder if you could make a pizza out of a tree… No, that’s dumb. That’s a dumb thought. I mean I’m sure you could make a “pizza” out of a tree, but would it actually be a pizza? What defines pizza? Does a pizza have to have cheese? Because if a pizza has to … Continue reading Existential Questions About Pizza and Dying for a Day