Once Upton a time there was a girl named Kate with a giant rack. She married a professional baseball player who won a Cy Young award ate age 39 and is sure to have a healthy hog on him. They have a child now. She lets the child play with her giant rack. She lets … Continue reading Getting Lost/ Kate Upton’s Rack
Poem – The Climb
I’m caught in the crevasse between my wants and desires leaving little space to breathe I push towards one then another neither budge and I’m going nowhere I can see the light above I don’t know what it wants or if it wants at all but I feel better when I follow so I push … Continue reading Poem – The Climb
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON
Well slather me salt and call me a pretzel cause this is about to get twisted. Imagine that being the opening to the next Stephen King book. He might lose some readers but I’d gain a lot of respect for the guy. Not like he needs any more respect but he would definitely have it … Continue reading NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON
Nothing But Nonsense
Well lock me up for a nonviolent drug offense and watch my life welter away, how the hell are ya!? ABSOLUTELY SPLENDID YOUNG LAD! Sweet mother of an Arabian grape farmer I have a lot of energy right now. Tickle me silly, Billy. Slap my ass with a chastity belt you naughty sack of skin. … Continue reading Nothing But Nonsense
Poem: Vines
My thoughts wrap around the stable center in my mind like vines they grow and breathe but sometimes they suffocate until the fence is overwhelmed I'm strangled by the branches but people only see the beauty in the leaves. Make a one-time donationYour contribution is appreciated.DonateMake a monthly donationYour contribution is appreciated.Donate monthlyMake a yearly … Continue reading Poem: Vines
Poem: Pee Plane
The people pass through the back of the plane who knew the bathroom would bring us all together men dressed in jackets leather for the winter women watching children wary of the strangers waiting to whip out their willies let's pray it's just a piss and not another blizzard. Make a one-time donationYour contribution is … Continue reading Poem: Pee Plane
Check Out This Dream I Had
Slippery dippery duck, white people like to drive trucks. They should teach that jingle in classrooms. Imagine picking your kid up from school and instead of singing ring around the rosie, all the kids are just saying “slippery dippery duck, white people like to drive trucks!” Speaking of white people, how about that stock market!? … Continue reading Check Out This Dream I Had
Becoming Vulnerable – Sharing Weakness and Failure
Well break my heart and pop my tart, how in the shopping cart of Paul Blart are we doing? Fantastic. Stupendous. Absolutely unheralded levels of joy as we head into the new year. Probably not. You’re probably hung over you stupid dumb idiot. The whole city is hung over. I can feel it. I smell … Continue reading Becoming Vulnerable – Sharing Weakness and Failure
Excess Will be the Death of Us
Well slap me in the face with a baguette and call me bread, it must be Monday. To be honest I am not feeling life at all this morning. We’re out here on the struggle bus, Billy. My brain feels broken and simple tasks are proving difficult. Fascinating, I know. Nonetheless, I’m here. I made … Continue reading Excess Will be the Death of Us
The Greatest Poem of All Time
If I was frozen solid would you put me in the oven? Climb me like a mountain? Ice pick in hand three steps to glory Would you weep like a willow? or wack off to a picture of some Instagram model crustify another pillow Tell me what would you do if I nuked the Bahamas? … Continue reading The Greatest Poem of All Time