The Toothbrush I think my toothbrush is gay. I found it in my bum. I was lying in a field of cauliflower when a man from the Charleston, North Carolina approached me. He said, “sir, I reckon you’ve got a brush in your bum.” “A who in my what?” I said. “A brush in your … Continue reading Three Short Stories by John Steinbeck
Tonight’s special will be roasted spare goose with a side of asparagus. It’s paired with our house wine, called “Gus.” If you need anything, my name’s Dave. Today’s blog post is brought to you by Scandalous Sam’s Scented Candles. If you can’t handle typical scented candles like vanilla bean or lavender, it’s time to … Continue reading Seeking Discomfort
Last night I went to two open mics in Austin, Texas that could not have been more different. The first one was the fairly prototypical comedians-only open mic at a small club. These kind of mics definitely have value, but I think you have to be careful not to form bad habits with them. Often … Continue reading 2 Mics 1 Bump
COCAINE! I remember I ended my last post talking about cocaine or I was going to talk about cocaine, but then I had to go so I thought I would start my next post talking about cocaine even though I really have nothing to say about cocaine because I've never done cocaine. I feel like … Continue reading Cocaine? And Comedy!
Oh man. It's been over a week since I've posted anything. I took another job so I've been crazy busy lately. I decided I'm going to work like a maniac for a year and be super stingy with my money so I can save up and move to LA to focus on writing and comedy. … Continue reading An Update and How Modern Society is at War for Moral Superiority
I've got a box of interracial peanuts I bought them at the corner store where they sell left-behind laundry and individual grains of sand my cousin works there he was born with no legs and a craisin for a heart he tells me the owner is a candy man and sticks toffee in his nostrils … Continue reading Poem: The Corner Store
What a great day to be alive. Today, Monday February 25th, and today only, here on planet earth, you can get your copy of Not Your Average Sonnet for just $5.97 on Amazon. That's right, for the price of a venti caramel macchiato, you can have endless entertainment on your hands, without the crash! Boy it sure is a … Continue reading HOLY NUT MUNCHERS, IT’S A FLASH SALE!
Every week, something fairly insignificant happens and people on the internet get super upset about it. This past week, people have chosen to get riled up about a Gillette commercial which, as many put it, “tackles toxic masculinity.” Most people have taken their standard positions on this commercial , because they gave up on thinking years … Continue reading Gillette: Oh well, I guess we just kind of screwed up
Whether we’re not on it all, check it every once in a while, or consider ourselves an “influencer,” one thing we can’t deny is that social media has changed us. It has changed the way we interact, make friends, maintain relationships, and even how we see the world. Before social media, people only lived in … Continue reading Why Time Doesn’t Exist on Social Media and How the Digital World Changes our Perception of Reality