Today's blog post is sponsored by Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers. Unlike anything you've ever tasted in your silly little life, Herb and Gertrude's Fermented Burgers will slap your tongue with a blistering combination of quality beef and barrel aged ingredients, including triple distilled pickles, sun soaked buns, and our famous anus tomatoes! Still hungry? … Continue reading Ventura/Chumash/Pt. Mugu
Today’s blog post is sponsored by Chicano Tenders – chicken tenders with a Mexican twist! So nice to have sponsors for the podcasts. I’m filled with gratitude. And eggs. I just ate a lot of eggs. I’m filled with eggs. I have the sperm and eggs inside of me. So, where am I? Who am … Continue reading Morro Bay to Ventura
Today's blog post is sponsored by Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions. Idris Elba's Pelvis Extensions is your one shop stop for all of your pelvis extension needs. Whether it's a mini extension or you'd like to shoot your pelvis right off your body and straight to the moon, IEPE has you covered. What did I do … Continue reading Morro Bay/Cambria
Happy International Day of Smacking Ass! No? That's not a thing? Well, that's a shame. Shame on you! I think, out of all the phrases in the english language, (and there are a lot) that may be my least favorite. It's like spell that a step-mother who's not cool enough to be a witch tries … Continue reading San Luis Obispo/ Montaña de Oro State Park
Oily toilet paper. Gross. Thank god that’s not a thing. Hi, hello. Good to be here. Happy day to you. I feel great today. Hope you’re doing well. Tell the kids I say hi. Wife okay? How’ve your parents been? Most of the time when I start writing I just begin by dumping out nonsensical … Continue reading Santa Cruz to Monterey to Morro Bay
Shooby doo da we're really off and running now, folks! I think I want that to be my preferred pronoun. Folk. I am not a he. I am not a she. I am a folk. Thank you. I don't think I've ever heard anyone be referred to as a folk, singular. You only ever hear … Continue reading Sacramento to Santa Cruz
Aaaaaand I’m off! My adventure to Austin, Texas has begun and I’m so excited I’m gonna cum! I I’m kidding, I won’t do that. At least not right now. I’m at a public restaurant, that would be very poor judgement and shockingly weak impulse control. I know there are many people reading this (probably friends … Continue reading The Start of a Journey: Windsor to Sacramento
I just bought a Subaru Crosstrek. Would have bought a Lambo, but I’m not quite there yet. That’s a quote from a song by Hobo Johnson, called “Subaru Crosstrek XV” and I highly suggest giving it a listen. Even if you don’t enjoy the music, it’s sure to generate a laugh. Also, I did just … Continue reading Subaru Crosstrek and Finding Meaning in a Modern Life
Gooby bloopity shdoop. Fantastic. Fun. Fun size. You know, I never understood why tiny candies are called “fun size.” When is less candy ever more fun? Maybe the candy companies know that and they’re trying to compensate. It wouldn’t exactly sell very well if it was called “Less Snickers.” King size is kind of weird, … Continue reading Fun Size Candy, King Size Candy, and… Queen Size Candy?
New year, new me! Just kidding, I’m the same guy. Like the Talking Heads said best, “same as it ever was. Same as it… ever was.” Okay well things aren’t exactly the same as they always were either, but I do enjoy poking fun at people who think they’re going to change everything about themselves … Continue reading Just Your Typical New Year New Beginnings Post
