A Joke, How Coronavirus is Your Fault and Not Mine This Time, and a Rant on Our Presidential Candidates Being Too Old

I'm thinking about starting a breast reduction clinic and calling it "Flattening the Curve," if anyone is interested. They say chaos breeds opportunity, so I figured now is a better time than ever to take advantage of women with huge tits. If you'd like to get in touch with me, just dial 1-800-HUGE-TIT and one … Continue reading A Joke, How Coronavirus is Your Fault and Not Mine This Time, and a Rant on Our Presidential Candidates Being Too Old

10 Things to do During a Pandemic Besides Masturbate

1: Go on a Walk You can still go outside, just don't lick the cement or put your tongue down the neighbors throat. Your hubby wouldn't be too happy about that anyways. 2: Learn a New Language  I'm learning Russian. You get to say "cock" a lot, which is cool. "Kak dela" means "how are … Continue reading 10 Things to do During a Pandemic Besides Masturbate

Early 2000’s Rock Bands and Other Band Stuff

It's been a while... since you've gone, and fucked things up, just like you always doooooooo. I recently rediscovered that song ("It's Been Awhile" by Staind) along with a plethora of others from my awkward pubescent years. Sometimes I think of things I've done in the past, or the person I used to be, and … Continue reading Early 2000’s Rock Bands and Other Band Stuff

Tater Tots, the Cost of Expression, Rationality and Emotion, and Selling Yourself for Money.

Tater tots. Tot tot tot de tot. One time I made an entire podcast episode about potatoes... I think I talked for an hour about potatoes, rank-ordering them from least favorite to favorite. Tater tots weren't high on the list. I would always eat tater tots if somebody was like "hey, have some tater tots," … Continue reading Tater Tots, the Cost of Expression, Rationality and Emotion, and Selling Yourself for Money.