The Greatest Poem of All Time

If I was frozen solid
would you put me in the oven?
Climb me like a mountain? 
Ice pick in hand
three steps to glory

Would you weep like a willow?
or wack off to a picture
of some Instagram model
crustify
another pillow

Tell me
what would you do
if I nuked the Bahamas?

Would you call your silly friends
and say you never saw it coming
or would you stand by my side
and cry for all the fishies
their immediate habitat 
ruined
by my bomb

why did I bomb the Bahamas?
Hard to say
does there have to be a reason?
Can't a man just bomb the Bahamas
in peace
anymore?

Jason Brendel

Jason Brendel is an author, poet, and comedian living in Austin, Texas. Navigate the buttons below to follow him on social media, make a donation, or purchase his collection of laugh-out-loud poetry on Amazon.

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