Learning How to be Wrong and Giant Dongs

Holy slithering snakes in my slimy salami slicer, it’s Monday! We’ve got a nice little thunderstorm rolling through here in Austin, so that’s cool and stuff. The weather here is interesting. It won’t rain for a month and then one day it will just rain so ridiculously hard that you have to pee at least three more times than normal during the course of the day. It’s not like California where we get that bitch ass drizzle for a few days. This is a man’s rain!

Anyways, glad I could open up this blog post with some small talk about the weather. Speaking of small… how about that penis of mine? Ha, small penis jokes. So original, right? Seriously, though, my penis is tiny. Ah, I’m kidding. It’s huge! Because I’ve been using Hugh Jackman’s Huge Massive Penis Pump. If you want a giant cock, Hugh Jackman’s Huge Massive Penis Pump is for you! For just three payments of $69.99, you could be rocking mad cock around the block in no time! Sign up now, this offer won’t last long! But we promise you will, because we’re also gonna throw in a free sample of our long lasting lotion. Just apply and deny yourself the embarrassment of cumming early like a stupid dumb idiot who’s never had sex before. Act now!

Always good to have a sponsor on the blog. If you’d like to sponsor the blog yourself, we can make that a reality. Just go ahead and… actually in all seriousness if you do want to support the blog, there’s a donations form at the bottom of the post so feel free to mess around with that.

What else did I want to talk about? Oh yeah! I did my daily morning stoic journal and it was a good one today. The title was “There’s nothing wrong with being wrong” and there was a quote by Emerson I liked: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” First things first here, hobgoblin is a hell of a word. It takes balls to use a word like that. Goblin balls. Small, bobbling goblin balls.

More importantly, it’s a great quote. The first thing that comes to mind when I think about this is politics. People often chastise politicians for changing their stance on something. They say “Well you used to be against this, now you’re for it? What gives?” Maybe it’s not the best example, because politicians often change their position not because they’ve realized they’re wrong, but because they’ve realized they need to change their stance in order to get elected. Anyways, politicians are weird and annoying so we don’t need to talk about them.

The point is, there’s a lot of value in being able to change your mind instead of sticking to a viewpoint or identity and never letting go of it. I think we too often attach ourselves to what we believe to be true. It’s the truth vs. my truth. None of us own the truth. Much better to seek the truth, and if we come to realize it is no longer the truth, we shall find the new truth.

I’m constantly shocked about things I used to think were true in the past. I look back and laugh. I say “wow, you actually believed that? You’re so dumb. I can’t believe how dumb you are. Maybe you should stop being so dumb.” And I know it will never end. I know there are things I believe to be true today that I will soon realize are not. But as long as I’m comfortable letting go of these truths, I will continue to grow. A new truth will arise, and it will be more accurate than the last. Software update engaged, version truth.

I think the scariest thing I notice is when someone believes an entire worldview to be true and shuts themselves off from any alternative perspective or truth. I feel like when you attach your personal identity to an ideological perspective you’re wading through dangerous waters. Because what happens if your ideology is wrong? What, now your entire identity is wrong? What are you going to do about that?

I think it’s much better to have some distance between ourselves and our values. We should believe strongly in what we believe in, but at the same time be able to let it go. The reason we let it go is because there’s something better for us on the other side. It’s like when we’re in a relationship and we’re afraid of losing our partner. We shouldn’t fear this, because there’s a reason a relationship ends. Nobody’s having an amazing relationship and then says “I’m breaking up with you. This is just too good. I hate happiness and I hate how good you make me feel.”

The relationship ends because there’s something left to be desired. Sometimes only one person in the relationship feels that way, and that sucks, but we all deserve to be loved for who we are. If someone can’t love you completely for who you are, that’s not the person for you, even if you believe it to be true. Even if it’s your passionate desire.

It saddens me how many relationships are based off fear. I see couples who don’t trust each other to go out alone or with friends, and it’s hard to watch. If someone cheats on you, it’s a blessing in disguise because they’re letting you know they’re not the right person for you. Now you can stop wasting your time and find someone who actually respects you and your relationship.

Okay, that’s all for today. I’ll probably continue this subject in the next post because I feel like I want to write about it more, but I’ve gotta do some stuff and things so… yeah. Time for stuff and things. Yay stuff and things! Look at all that stuff. Really offsets those things nicely. Mmm. Looking good.

Jason Brendel
Jason Brendel

Jason Brendel is an author, poet, and comedian from Northern California. Navigate the buttons below to follow him on social media, make a donation, or purchase his collection of laugh-out-loud poetry on Amazon.

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