Asking “What Am I Doing With My Life?”

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Fantastic. Tremendous. Cool. Neat. Fun. This is fun. I’m having fun.

I’ve been doing a lot of yoga lately. A couple of weeks ago I had this pretty wild experience after doing yoga for an hour. I was lying on the mat with my eyes closed in the pose, savasana (also known as lying on your back) when some beings came to visit me. It was like a full blown trip. They looked similar to the typical caricature of an alien and appeared in a flying saucer type ship. They laughed at me for taking myself too seriously and told me that my goals and dreams aren’t really that important. They communicated a message of simplification and were laughing about how I overthink everything.

I’m not sure what you would call these “beings.” Spirit guides, maybe. Concoctions of the mind. Wise entities. Who the hell knows. All that I know is that it happened and it was profound. I didn’t ask it to happen. I didn’t seek it out. It just happened; and I was in such a relaxed state of being that I was I was able to let it happen.

To a lot of people, I’m sure this sounds pretty insane. To others, this probably sounds pretty normal. I think it has to do with allowing yourself the time to sit in solitude and let go. The truth is that a lot of people go their entire lives without ever getting into that kind of state. I think when you never take the time to detach and completely let go, you simply become your habits and your environment. Your body and your mind go into autopilot mode and you keep doing the same things you’ve always done, and things only change when something around you changes or some outside force comes and forces you to shake things up.

Have you ever sat somewhere by yourself for at least an hour and thought about what you want out of life? I think it would be interesting to conduct a poll on this question. Whatever the percentage is, it’s not high enough. People think about what they want all the time, but I think it’s usually in between busy activities or when we hit the bed at night. How often do we really stop to check in?

I think if you asked people what they want out of life, the strong majority would say either success or happiness. And by success we usually mean money. The amount of time most of us spend chasing dreams of being rich is bananas. The crazier thing is that a lot of people just want to have money. Not even spend money. They just want to have it. We’ve all met someone who is quite wealthy but doesn’t like to spend an extra dollar anywhere. And for what? What’s the purpose of simply possessing a bunch of money after you already have enough to alleviate the anxiety of paying the bills?

I think the other aspect commonly associated with success is status. A lot of people spend a lot of time chasing status. It’s common for people to prioritize a question like “how is this going to make me look to everyone else?” over asking “how is this going to enrich my life?” I think we all want to feel heard and we all want to feel like we matter. Higher levels of status allow for us to be heard by more people and gain a greater sense of self-importance. These are critical things, but if we’re continually chasing status in order to look better than other people, we’re probably doing ourselves way more harm than good. Everyone knows how insufferable those people who always have to one-up everyone else are.

THE POINT IS, I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’m doing what I’m doing. Why comedy? Why performing? It’s been a revelation for me to think deeply about these things. I’m coming to a stronger understanding of what makes my life meaningful. It’s pretty simple. Creating and connecting. I think the best art comes from people who are free from the constraints of their desires for fame and money. And plenty of people create phenomenal art that goes unseen for far too long, but at some point, the cream rises to the top. It gets out. It connects. I still have work to do in order to completely free myself from those constraints, but I’m making progress, and I feel pretty damn good about that.

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