Oh bathroom, oh restroom of dark deceit
white walls      hands free    the great shitting man’s dream
clean sink       pristine seat      the lemon pledge reeks
I pop my squat       all is well it would seem.

I’d like to think I’ve been a nice guy
but you must think otherwise, for you
gave me a one-time supply of one-ply
‘nough to wipe the ass of a butterfly.

They say you can’t fold a piece of paper
(eight by eleven) no more than seven
but shit, I could fold one-ply forever
still not enough, and the stack reached heaven.
And to think you only gave me one piece
as if that was enough to clean my crease.
Jason Brendel
Jason Brendel

Jason Brendel is an author, poet, and comedian living in Austin, Texas. Navigate the buttons below to follow him on social media, make a donation, or purchase his collection of laugh-out-loud poetry on Amazon.

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