I’m Watching People Become Robots, and It’s Scary

Well smoke my cheddar and call me cheese! That would be a fun experiment... Not to smoke my cheddar and call me cheese, but to say that to one hundred different people and take note of how each one of them interprets it. Maybe I'll do that some day. I could just walk around the … Continue reading I’m Watching People Become Robots, and It’s Scary

10 Fruits or Vegetables You Don’t Know How to Cut

Mango On realsimple.com, the first thing listed in the “What You Need” section is a “Y-shaped peeler.” Personally, if I see anything other than “knife,” I’m already settling for a banana. A Y-shaped peeler? More like Y am I doing this to myself? Below the “What You Need” section is a “Follow These Steps” segment, … Continue reading 10 Fruits or Vegetables You Don’t Know How to Cut

Guy With Computer Eager to Destroy Celebrity’s Life

Reading over the apologies from celebrities like Kevin Hart, Nick Cannon, and Shane Gillis, Jacksonville, Florida resident Doug Robertson couldn’t help but feel inspired. The proud owner of a brand new Lenovo laptop, Robertson grinned from ear to ear, explaining that “this is the moment.. This is my time to finally make a difference in … Continue reading Guy With Computer Eager to Destroy Celebrity’s Life

Woman Forgets to Lock Door, is Murdered Immediately

Like many Americans, Larissa Fisterson always makes sure to lock the door. Every day, when her husband leaves for work each morning, Mrs. Fisterson begins the locking process by simply turning the key lock, as any reasonable citizen would do. Mrs. Fisterson has taken extra precautions, however, installing a custom series of deadbolts just days … Continue reading Woman Forgets to Lock Door, is Murdered Immediately

A Joke, How Coronavirus is Your Fault and Not Mine This Time, and a Rant on Our Presidential Candidates Being Too Old

I'm thinking about starting a breast reduction clinic and calling it "Flattening the Curve," if anyone is interested. They say chaos breeds opportunity, so I figured now is a better time than ever to take advantage of women with huge tits. If you'd like to get in touch with me, just dial 1-800-HUGE-TIT and one … Continue reading A Joke, How Coronavirus is Your Fault and Not Mine This Time, and a Rant on Our Presidential Candidates Being Too Old